I missed

And I've been doing so good.

One of the hardest, and most stressful, things about being bipolar is the medication. It puts you up, it puts you down, it gives you side effects, and onwards. The worst, though, is the dependency you form and the fall out if it's disrupted.

I screwed up in taking my meds on Thursday. Typically I take it with breakfast and supper. They go down better with food. Thursday morning: I got up and fed and walked Paige as I've done every morning since I've gotten her. I went and lied down with Nick for a bit since he was still in bed when we got back. I love cuddling with him. When he got up, he asked if I was getting up. I said that our bed was too comfy, and it really is. I ended up falling back to sleep. I ended up sleeping till Noon. So that put my pill really late. Oops! Not the end of the world.

On Friday, I took Paige on a monster walk. We went in such a way that we crossed two bridges across the river. Paige did excellent. No problems when the train went overhead on the one or with the heavy traffic on the other. Me on the other hand: my head was just spinning on them. I don't always do well with bridges but this was beyond normal. Prior to that, I also almost tipped down a flight of wooden stairs that we were walking on in the river valley. In both cases, I just kept thinking "stay upright and keep your feet going." It was rough.

I went to grab my supper pills last night and noticed something that was not good news: I never took my Thursday supper pills! OMG. So I had one dose that day, at noon. No wonder I was having problems.

Today's problems have been even worse. I got up and fed Paige this morning and took her down. When we were walking I was spooking at every shadow and jumping at every sound, and it was a beautiful, sunny morning. But Paige was there every time. She would glance around and then look at me as if to tell me it was okay. But we kept it brief. I had a glass of milk, a piece of toast, my morning pills and went back to bed. I just wanted to sleep. I finally got moving at about 11 today. When I woke up, Paige was lying right beside my bed. Got up. Kiss Nick. Kiss the cats. More to eat. Watch TV. Advil for the migraine that was growing. And Paige followed me room to room and wouldn't let me out of her sight. Good girl. Even when I went for a bath, she lied right in front of the tub. I had to convince her to move because I couldn't get out. Silly girl.

I went for a walk with her because I knew that she needed it. Turns out it didn't hurt me either (other than when a really loud motorcycle went past - my poor head). And Paige was so good. She put up with my slow, stumbling pace. She was fabulous, even we when we got mobbed by a whole group of girl guides. And wouldn't you know it: nobody notices how I look because Paige is steeling the show. It's a good thing because I wasn't carrying how I looked today. I never even did my hair.

I'm so thankful that I have Paige here to help me out today. I know she isn't doing anything but lying on the floor. But that's lots. I need to teach her to fetch my pills for me. Then to do it twice a day because that's what we need. :)

My other major defect today is that my brain feels like it's trying to run on really thick syrup. Everything is slow and I'm having trouble holding onto thoughts. I hope this article isn't too badly muddled because I'm hitting publish