Med adjustment

I went to the doctors today. It was an appointment that I made a couple of weeks ago but it couldn't have come at a better time. It doesn't usually take so long to get in but I needed a longer slot this time because he surgically removed a mole for me. Yippy. It was driving me nuts. Now, a slight ache in the spot and a great amount of itching and 1 stitch.

In my area, the system is moving to a health care team approach. This means that you still primarily deal with your GP but the GP has specialists that he sees on a regular basis that he can consult with. In my case, he has access to a psychiatrist. And he discussed my file with his psychiatrist. And they've decided to adjust my meds:

Previously:

• Lamictal: 125mg twice a day (an anti-epileptic for stability)
• Celexa: 10mg in the morning (an antidepressant)

Now:

• Celexa: Same
• Lamictal: 150mg twice a day for 2 weeks, 175mg twice a day for 2 weeks

He wants to see me again in 4 weeks time, just to see how I'm doing and how I'm adjusting. I have to remember to keep track of any side effects: eg. if the headaches or dizzy spells get any worse. The side effects always scare me a little. The headaches are a pain (go figure) and the dizzy spells are very disorientating. They are long lived visual confusion. The world doesn't keep quite where you think it should be. These can become problematic, I think. I most definitely shouldn't be driving when these are happening. I think I may always have to retain some comfort level with public transit and be comfortable getting to my usual destinations. This will be easier once I have my PSD.

In other news: I'm writing the test that I missed this upcoming Monday. That gives me Saturday to super apply myself and get studying. I haven't really studied for it yet because I couldn't read. Sometimes it's like what is on the page in front of me is written in Hebrew for how much of it I'm understanding/retaining. And it's frustrating because 1) I'm not gaining anything by spending my time looking at the page and 2) I could read a novel during most of these periods because I don't have to actively read it or attempt to retain it. It's like "I can do this, so why can't I do this very similar task". Grrrr!

Anyways, I'm off to bed. I'm exhausted. I hope I start sleeping like a normal person soon. Right now I'm falling asleep like I'm manic (ie. I lie awake and stare into space) and sleep like I'm depressed (ie. 10-12 hours if you let me). I'm trying to avoid sleeping pills. They worry both Mom and Nick. Me: at times they are almost like chocolate. So good and so satisfying. But I'm still scared of dependency on them. And I meant to talk to the doctor about them today. Crap! Night.