Nick is for me

I feel like I haven't posted in such a long time even though it wasn't that long ago. Still so much has changed, again.

After my last post, I finally lost it. I told Nick to stop talking to me for a bit. Completely stop. I said "I can't miss you if you won't go away." I really needed some space. During this time, Jenn acted as an messaging service when we needed to get hold of each other. Thank you Jenn. We had arbitrarilly picked last Saturday as our day for re-evaluation of our situation. I got so excited about seeing him. I dressed up and did my makeup and even put on perfume. If you had an idea of how often I did that, any of that, this was a big deal. I wanted to dress up for him so badly. At any rate, we're back together. I am going to be moving in with him again in the future. But I want to wait some more for that because he still needs to get his cleaning habits under control. We're also going to go to councilling together. We want to make sure that this works. But I have my hubin back (think a not quite husband). I know I'm missing stuff that happened but right now is good and I have hope about Nick and me.

We both also noticed on the same day - while we were not talking - that all of this started when I came off of my birth control. The headaches were becoming so bad that my doctor and I decided that we needed to try something. Since headaches is a common side effect for hormonal birth control, we decided to remove that. Within a week the headaches were gone. The week after that, I lost my mind and drastically changed life and left a lot of hurt behind me. Was the horomone balance involved in that? It's possible. I'm going to stay off of it for now. Let the horomones settle down. Maybe I'll reconsider it in the future. Maybe we'll try something that's non-hormonal. We'll see.